Thursday, July 10, 2008

I am a total wimp

I am so proud (and jealous) of my kids. I signed them up for SummerJets a swimming team for summer to not only get them to have some cool exercise this summer but also to ensure they are better swimmers than me. I can't swim. I am SCARED TO DEATH of swimming. I don't think that even if I tried I could do it. I know you guys are all saying in your heads "sure you could" and "your under estimating yourself". I know its a cop out. I know, but inside this fear is still bigger than me. I kinda have to talk myself into it. When I'm ready to swim I want it to be a lifetime thing. Right now I am focused on running. Making that a habit and priority. Maybe next year my goal will be to swim. If I can work in cycling maybe by 35 I can do a tri. That would be cool. Here are my reasons why I DO NOT SWIM:

1) I don't like to be the center of attention. Me looking like a rotary fan in the water with my arms and legs going different directions and me forgetting to breath so my swim instructor having to pull me out of the water is not my ideal, or even close to my ideal situation. Still I see it looming in my future.

2) I'm scared I'll drown. I don't want to die like that. I know its a freakin' pool and I can doggie paddle to the side. but when I think about swimming my brain jumps directly to me being fished out of the pool a little too late.

3) Its not just the water, its boats too. I get panic attacks just sitting in them. I know I'm a freak. If my husband won't watch a chick flick with me then I won't get in a boat. I'm truly scared to death it will sink or myself, or worse my kids, will fall over board in the middle of the river or lake.

4) Today, at this second, I'm OK with my kids being better swimmers than me. I am so proud of them for doing so well this year. Hollywood is almost 8 but the Aquajets leader moved him up with the 9and10 year old group even though this is his first year swimming on a team. Blondy is doing great in his group too. They make me so proud!

no workout for me today. I will be walking a ton tomorrow after I drive to the Bay Area then take Bart to SF. We have to check in at our Hotel, Walk to our host hotel to check in for the walk, walk again to where we are having a yummy vegetarian meal then walking back to our hotel to sleep. I'm so excited. Saturday morning we get up at 4:15am to get our day started. 26.2miles not including all the other walking we get to do. I shouldn't be excited about using port-a-potties, taking a shower in a semi truck or sleeping in a little bitty tent by the very cool and windy ocean but I totally am.


ShirleyPerly said...

If/when you decide you want to learn to swim, I think you ought to take private lessons vs. being in a group. Sounds like you've got more fears than most people about it and having to be rushed or put on the spot may cause more distress. Great that you're supportive of your kids learning, though!

Good luck on your walk this weekend. Look forward to hearing all about it.

ShirleyPerly said...

PS - I finally posted my meme!

Jade Lady said...

First of all, I think it's great that you support your kids in swimming!

I have met a couple of people who did not learn to swim as a child. And, the fears you describe are similar to what I've heard from them. However, there is hope! All three learned to swim, but it took time and still I sense some fear of the water when I talk with them. One is a triathlete - and tho she says she's not a good swimmer, she can outswim me any day.

When and if you're ready to try, you'll know. And, remember, you're NOT alone! Just keep an open mind!