Moving Forward

My PT, E, said today that there is improvement. Maybe not so much in my strength but in my hips lining up and my muscles firing when they should. I keep icing and stretching and change how I stretch once running comes back into the picture. The sitter flaked on me last night so no spin class but I was pretty sore still from Tuesday so it was probably a good thing for my body although my brain is all "Go Run, Go Run, Go Run" all the time. Little short breaks are nice for the brain, and the body, if you have something to fill it up besides FB and house cleaning. But man this has been going on way too long.

I'm hoping that by the 8th PT session I'll have some more answers. Right now its no running only walking, I'm glad that things are moving forward though. I miss my solitary runs, I miss my running friends, I miss the use of energy that helps me think straight and lift my mood. I almost just pulled out the Mizuno's and took em for a run today but I'll be a good girl.

Easy Goes It, Girl

Working on that personal investment thing. PT is going better. I slowed down and that’s hardfor me to say much less do. I took more of a break between sets of exercises so I could finish without fatigue and that helped, but darn I feel so weak and slow. I know it’s a progression but I'm more of a fast paced girl if you know what I mean. Losing that physical strength and stamina has been my biggest downfall mentally. I totally dream about running faster, jumping puddles after a good rain, sloshing through the wet trails on a good long run and wake up knowing its not even a posibility right now. Are you kidding? I'm really dreaming about running? LOL. My brain can't even slow me down.

I'm going to my friends spin class tonight. She knows that I can't be my usual fun, get her done, push to my limits kinda girl tonight but it will be good practice in patience for me. Liz and Vicki will be there too. Need a little perk up and get some of this pent up energy out.

The Foodie in me:

The thing about working on nutrition in our lives has been hard er... not existent really. I have no desire to cook an elaborate meal, not desire to clean up after making that meal. I've been bad. I don't eat the things the kids eat. I lean more towards the paleo diet since wheat seems to upset the body and many of the grains aren't that appetizing to me. I don't eat much dairy, which for someone with osteopenia that’s not really a good thing but I've been much better about taking my calcium chews and my vitamin D. I'd like to talk to someone who knows what they're talking about, about how much I should be taking considering my severe calcium deficiency but that would require me going to the doctor. In some ways I'm good about taking care of my health and in others I'm sorely lacking. How long has it been since I've had an eye exam or gotten new glasses? Long enough that I don't really even remember. ouch. So things on my to do list like making drs. apts just keep finding their way to the bottom of the list. Better than before when I used to just pretend I didn't need to do them at all. That’s progress right?

Since I'm not paying for "Therapy":

This rain isn't helping with the whole... I'm not depressed just lacking energy, motivation, desire for social interaction and so on. Ok maybe a little depression. Its been on and off pretty significantly for the last 6 months or so but I really really really don't want to take anything since I already take my thyroid pill and so many other supplements. I'm working on positive affirmations, concentrating on healing my leg, getting stronger, loving on my boys, supporting my sister and this new life she's creating, thanking my parents more for taking my kids whenever I need a sitter, enjoying little vacations and time away from the house instead of locking myself up and not going out unless I have to.

I'm hoping the little ski trip that will be sure to rattle my nerves worrying about the boys will be off set by our little trip to Yosemite if I can get someone to take the dogs for a couple days (oh daddy? could you please watch the doggies for us while we're gone?),  and still make some reservations. I know we just "got away" in December but fresh air instead of stuffy casinos sounds more up my ally AND I'm in dire need of some beautiful places to take pictures of my boys and family.

Easy Goes it, Girl

If I can't run I'll walk

if I can't walk I'll crawl

but I refuse to stand still and wait.

So off I go

towards tomorrow and the day after

slowly, cautiously and with purpose

Looking for a new trail head to follow

The strength to move mountains of doubt in my head

to a new adventure; a story to tell

a new Goal to reach beyond

a new star to touch if I reach high enough, long enough, far enough

as the pieces of puzzle fall into place for me to complete. ~me

Successful People Invest Heavily In Themselves

I saw a quote over at Christine's blog and I felt this is undoubtably how I want to live my life.

"Successful people invest heavily in themselves."

I'm actually looking forward to PT tomorrow. Part of that is because I feel like a total slug and part because I hope she tells me I can to to Katies spinning class with Liz and Vicki on Wednesday night. Wahoo. Then more PT on Thursday.

I've been working hard on not compensating on my left foot to make up for the weakness and soreness on my right. Soooo I totally realized how weak and sore my right side actually is. Doh! Stupid me for not realizing this months  before the whole foot thing happened. Well I'm going to PT to get that fixed right?

I'm working on some ideas for when I get back into running. I really would like to start out slow and easy again. I think I'll do some trail runs since it will let me practice being lighter on my feet and not be thinking about speed since I'll be thinking of not falling on my face. Hows that?

I'll also be doing Kettlebell class again as soon as I get the go ahead. (and the tax $) so that I can increase my core strength and help keep my bone mass up. I miss my KOR girls... and K.C. too I guess. He makes me cry though.

After reading about the moms over at http://www.runlikeamotherbook.com/ I've been re-inspired to start from the ground up. I'll be looking forward to building a strong and solid base and getting back to the funamentals of running.

I can't wait for the book to come out! Just 4 days after my birthday. I asked Dimity and Sarah to change it but that dates pretty set in stone darn it. Look for it at Barnes and Noble and Amazon on March 23rd or preorder it so It will get to your door step ASAP. Thats what I did!

Physical "Therapy"

This is not what I call the kind of therapy that keeps me sane but it will make me better so I can funtion like a human instead of a grumpy mama bear all the time.

I've been a bit of a downer and I feel sorry for my family. My PT (we'll call him K) totally kicked my butt yesterday. They made me sit on the bike for 6 minutes to warm up then he did some stretching with me to see check out my strength and flexibility since E had done my eval last week. He sent me to the torture chamber to do some leg press thingies then some where he hooked the contraption to my ankle from above my head and I had to let it pull my leg up until I felt the stretch but before it hurt then push back down again 12 reps x2. It felt fine on my good leg and very difficult and frustrating on the bad side.

1. Then he moved me over to this crazy contraption that is for balance and it vibrates at different levels to make things harder or easier. I had to do lunges on them, stand on one leg for 30 seconds at a time per leg x2 and do squats. DAMN THOSE SQUATS HURT! Once I finished up all my exercises K hooked my foot up to this thing that looked like a battery then left it on my foot for 20 minutes. I swear with the vibrating machine and the battery thing my hair might as well stand on end. LOL

Not sure what the deal is but still no running.

Therapy. I know I'm doing physical therapy but my old physical therapy so I didn't have to spend $ at the head shrink (sorry to anyone who might be one) and it was fun to run. My anxiety was so much better when I run. My sleep was more consistent and my dreams not nearly as nightmarish or freaky as they are when I don't run. My therapy was the social outlet of my friends too. I really miss running with them. So as soon as I get the go ahead I'll start out slow, increase slowly and do it right. Until then, I might be venting to you all for a while. LOL

Looking Up

Sorry to be all doom and gloom. My body and Running are rebelling against eachother but I've been able to do some thinking about how devoted to running I've been and how I really need to add cross training into that regimen. This is a good time to find some other activities that I enjoy doing so I can incorporate them into the schedule once I start training for a race again. I intend to pick my poor PT's mind this week. I don't know how to swim (very well). Maybe time to change that? I enjoy riding on my old lady cruiser and putting in time on the granny seat back and forth to school and running errands would afford me a little extra calorie burn. And of course back to Kettlebells when the tax refund comes in.

I did get some modified stretches from the PT to do this weekend to loosen up this tight right side. I've been doing them but not sure if there has been any improvement since then. I'll keep doing them because it has to be better than doing nothing at all. I'm excited and not so excited to have them work me out on Tuesday. I'm a little worried about the sore muscle fall out but excited to be on the road to recovery. Does that make sense? I guess its a bitter-sweet feeling... I'll think of it like dark Chocolate, really good in moderation, too much and and you'll pay the piper. LOL

Last week the PT did the evaluation on me and an hour and a half later I was so sore from all the bending and twisting. I wish I had a hot tub but a long hot shower had to do. 2x a week for the next 4 weeks then I'll go back to the foot doc to see how I'm doing and get my orthotics in. I have figured out that driving hurts that right foot area that is inflamed so I've adjusted my seat and foot position (when I remember) to keep it from aggravating. Hopefully the PT will give me some direction tomorrow on things to do to stay in shape during this way lay. I'm looking forward to going back to KOR Fitness to get back into "fighting shape" before hard core (he he he, pun totally intended) running training time comes around.

If you are out of the training loop or out injured what kinds of cross training do you do?

Here's the stinkin' deal

I know being hurt does not make me a failure. In truth I would rather be a flake or fail than to admit out loud to the world I am just incapable. I found EVERY excuse in the book to talk myself out of being hurt. I finally had to bite the bullet and see the doctor because a spot on the bottom of my right foot hurt and wouldn't stop hurting and hurt worse when I ran on pavement. GRRRRrrrrrr. One 1/2 mary program down the tubes. I made it an entire week I think?

So off to the foot doc I go and she tells me I have this silly tendinitis thing called "Sesmoiditis" in my foot. Thankfully its not fractured! But WTH??? and was it my Frost or Fog run or something else? Apparently I also have a pretty severely tilted Pelvis because I'm not freaky enough all ready having tendonitis in my foot for a bone no one has even heard, of now my pelvis is "tilted" and F*ing everything else up too. My Right side is higher than my left and all my muscles and tendons are out of whack. So out of whack that my ass muscles aren't even firing when I run or walk! Lucky me hu?

So My feet are messed up royally from the "out of whackness" of my hip all the way down my leg to the toesies and the doc fits me for $500 orthotics to help fix that and writes me an Rx for 4-6 weeks of PT to retrain my muscles to be doing the right instead of the wrong thing. I see flashes of dark places and pain in my near future. very Twilight Zone Doo Doo doo doo Doo Doo doo doo...

On top of all this there has been some family issues I won't get into here and a sick Gma who has been having delusions from her meds due to her broken hip. She has Osteoperosis... and not counting the fact that she is amazingly sharp and motivated for 85 years old she also has several other medical problems to deal with and is struggling with the idea of walking or living on her own after this. This is very unlike her. My fears are two fold, some for her and some for the mind time machine traveling 50 years into my future playing an endless loop in my head. Before I was even 30 I had early signs of my future including a diagnosis of "osteopenia" the warning signs of Osteoperosis. See what I have to look forward to? LOL More about the PT apt later because that was a Hella fun afternoon, let me tell you. UGH!

What have your running injuries been and how did you overcome them? really really really tell me!