Thursday, September 16, 2010

Be Afraid

Be very afraid... then do it anyway. I've always been a cautious person, sometimes to a fault. Especially being a parent. I hate to see my children hurt. I hate to imagine the circumstances that may have been within my control but happened because I didn't say no, or didn't put the right tools in place for them to take care of themselves. I got that from my Grandma Reba. She worried over everything.

I'm a little naive too. I want to always see the best in others while at the same time fearing that their best is no where near good enough. I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend full of contradictions and perhaps that makes me a hypocrite.

Running has brought me farther than I ever thought possible but in so many ways. My feet have carried me over 2000 miles in the last 2 years 9 months. Those miles have brought me a perspective few others have (i.e. 20 mile long run seems long to me. 2 miles seems long to my husband). I took on a cross training regimen to keep my core strong and to build strength to counteract  osteoporosis that plagues the women in my family. It also makes me feel stronger and more in control but who the heck thought I would be swinging around an 18lb weight with a handle? Not me, and no, its really not safe for me to be doing this. I'm the biggest klutz you have ever met but I do it anyway.

Running for 26.2 miles makes me smile. Makes climbing the rope less scary and I climbed farther than I ever have before. It made me believe that I could go back to school and start from scratch to take on crazy hard classes because it took me 17 weeks to train for a marathon i can pass one basic algebra class for sure then chem, stats, anatomy, physiology and two microbiology classes before I even transfer. I'm scared to do all these things but I ran a marathon so don't tell me I can't. I got in a kayak and paddled across a lake, I can do more than I ever believed. I just need to do it. I may be afraid but now that isn't a reason to stop is it? So be afraid and let your fears guide you to new and marvelous adventures you always believed were too far to reach.

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