Just Put it Out There

Maybe if I put it out there I'll be more likely to make it happen. After my long run on Saturday I'm a little worried about getting back out there tomorrow. I need to go to KOR and also run 4 miles tomorrow. My foot hasn't bothered me much today and I'm going to ice it again tonight and give it a real try tomorrow. Maybe adjusting the laces some.

I had a great weekend with my sister and the kids. I can't believe its been 8 months since I've seen them. I got so much love from my niece and nephews. Especially the nephews. Princess Nani plays well with my boys but the two little ones really clung to me this weekend and I loved every moment of it. I loved listening to JJ laugh that deep belly laugh of his. I love that TyTy loves for me to blow on his belly and tickle him. He just asked me over and over. I got such an abundance of hugs and kisses and love from my nephews. It made me miss my boys being so little when I was their whole world. I have to hold onto my boys and that feeling just a little longer when they give out the extra love that came so easy when they were little when I didn't have to beg for a kiss or cuddle time.

 Nani is getting so big. I'm always amazed by her sensitivity and creativity. She hasn't been jaded or built walls around herself in spite of the challenges of changing schools, moving from friends, having her parents split up and all the other changes this year has brought. I know she's scared but when I took her out of the room and talked to her she told me out right that she was scared, that she missed her home and she really missed her daddy. The way she clung to me and cried made me remember the way it used to be when I was little before I was too scared to hold back. She reminds me so much of me and I miss her so much.

I'm going to hold onto those hugs and those kisses and the tears I wiped away this weekend in my heart and the forefront of my thoughts this week when I feel like I can't make it to KOR, when those miles seem like too many or the weather isn't perfect for a good run. I'll hold onto the sound of their laughter when I run in the rain next Saturday for my 20 mile run. Because I got a little time with my favorite people this weekend I'm going to put that out there, into everything I do, into my effort on the pavement, on the trail, working in the classroom. Their weekend with us brought me a little extra umph to get me through my single mama time this week and all of next week when my firefighter provider (FFP) is out of town on hunting and fire business.

I'm thinking that maybe if I clean out the freezer the FFP might actually see and kill some elk this week. Day 2 has come and gone and no animals yet.

Do you "meat eaters" eat game or do you buy from local grocers or farms?

Be Afraid

Be very afraid... then do it anyway. I've always been a cautious person, sometimes to a fault. Especially being a parent. I hate to see my children hurt. I hate to imagine the circumstances that may have been within my control but happened because I didn't say no, or didn't put the right tools in place for them to take care of themselves. I got that from my Grandma Reba. She worried over everything.

I'm a little naive too. I want to always see the best in others while at the same time fearing that their best is no where near good enough. I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend full of contradictions and perhaps that makes me a hypocrite.

Running has brought me farther than I ever thought possible but in so many ways. My feet have carried me over 2000 miles in the last 2 years 9 months. Those miles have brought me a perspective few others have (i.e. 20 mile long run seems long to me. 2 miles seems long to my husband). I took on a cross training regimen to keep my core strong and to build strength to counteract  osteoporosis that plagues the women in my family. It also makes me feel stronger and more in control but who the heck thought I would be swinging around an 18lb weight with a handle? Not me, and no, its really not safe for me to be doing this. I'm the biggest klutz you have ever met but I do it anyway.

Running for 26.2 miles makes me smile. Makes climbing the rope less scary and I climbed farther than I ever have before. It made me believe that I could go back to school and start from scratch to take on crazy hard classes because it took me 17 weeks to train for a marathon i can pass one basic algebra class for sure then chem, stats, anatomy, physiology and two microbiology classes before I even transfer. I'm scared to do all these things but I ran a marathon so don't tell me I can't. I got in a kayak and paddled across a lake, I can do more than I ever believed. I just need to do it. I may be afraid but now that isn't a reason to stop is it? So be afraid and let your fears guide you to new and marvelous adventures you always believed were too far to reach.

Totally Freaking Out

Blogger totally freaked out on me and all the posts I had been working on that it wouldn't let me post just disappeared! bummer. So heres a slight recap.

Two Saturdays ago I missed my 12 mile long run due to the stomach flu. I was supposed to run on Friday and go camping for labor day weekend. Needless to say I just scrapped it and started from scratch on Wednesday when I felt like jolting my system wasn't going to cause any adverse effects. I did 2 so slow on the dreadmill that I felt like a brisk walk would have been faster. BUT I felt so good on Thursday that I rocked the 7 mile run w/ 3 at Marathon (actually faster) pace. I ran 3 on Friday and 14 on Saturday.

Saturdays 14 miles long run needs its very own post since I'm going to review Chocolate #9 that I won from Momma of 3 on the Run and my new hydration belt that I paid for myself but love love love.

After I rocked my run on Saturday I took Sunday off, ran a short run Monday, ran hill repeats on Tuesday (totally rocked those too!) did KOR yesterday and I think my arms should have fallen off and ran around like a mad parson today getting things done but not getting an actual run in. Tomorrow is KOR and an easy run and Saturday is 10m "speed trial" that I'm running easy and Sunday is Whiskeytown Relay.Whew!

FOOD! has been a nightmare. I should be shopping now, there is nothing in this house. its so sad!!! I'm so hungry for food that isn't instant that I don't even care that half my sentences start with lower case letters and that usually dries me crazy! OK, now I have to go back and fix them. Thank goodness there is enough $ on the kiddos hot lunch tickets to get lunch at school tomorrow and the in-laws took the kiddos to dinner and yogurt tonight. Tomorrow I must shop!