Super Secret Squirral Code Word to enter

I've been a closet run/walker for the last month. I didn't want to tell anyone because I feel like such a hypocrite. It totally bugs me when I'm running a race and the same person, usually a long legged blond with a super cute pony tail, breezes past me with a huge smile on her face only for me to pass her a few minutes later during her "walk" portion only to do it over and over and over and over again until she beats my pants off in the end. It. Totally. Irks. Me.

So I haven't told anyone. Although I didn't do it during a race, I do bitch about others doing "it" to me and I don't play that game. Maybe I should start. LOL. Not bitching but run/walking during races because maybe I'd finish stronger, maybe I'd not feel like I was totally burned out the last 1/4 mile of every race, maybe I would... but shh I have a secret.

I RAN yesterday.

I ran like I haven't run in months. 4 months in fact. I ran 2.2 miles straight and although it was harder than it should have been, although it was mentally a huge hurdle to cross, it felt SO GOOD. I almost cried when I was done. My legs could have gone on for another 0.1 miles forever my lungs and my mind were spent. I was shaking and hurt all over but I had a giddy/silly look on my face because I didn't stop once. My Garmin says 10m3s pace, and that was h.a.r.d.

I started out thinking I was going to do a 4/1 jog/walk but when I hit 4 minutes I actually felt good in a painful mind numbing i just want to keep going to see if I can do this kind of way, and thought it was a good day to keep going. There were so many flowers blooming in the park, so many fun people and animals to look at, so much more than I usually see on this trail because I used to run it so much I almost hated to look around me. 4 months and 2 seasons off gave me a new appreciation and love for our little park.

By the time I got to the mile marker I didn't want to turn around. There was so much more I wanted to see! But as I inched past it I slowed down and looked around and reminded myself that it had been a long time since I ran this far. It had been a long time since I pushed myself beyond my boundaries and it was sad to think that 2 miles was a lot but it is after such a long rehab period. So I trotted my butt around and headed back. I payed attention to my labored breathing and thought I should slow down but my legs were so happy. I did get a twinge of some knee pain but that dissipated as fast as it appeared. My lungs and thighs burned but it made me smile. My legs in general felt like they could go on forever. By the time I reached the rocks I was done. I was shaking and gasping and wanted to cry in pain/ happiness. I felt like me out there today. The me after a hard workout. The me that is looking for a race to run even if its just against myself. I wanted to find a finish line to this injury and a start line to my running again. I hope that was me breaking the tape on the that finish line of the last 4 months. I'm just happy to feel like me.