Swimming Around the Edge of Conciousness

It has been way too long. I haven't written about anything although I have ideas buzzing around my head all night. The computer being in the bedroom next to the bed isn't conducive to me writing while FFP sleeps so I stare at the ceiling and dream of working, working out, working in some time for friends, for an adventure with the boys, for a get away with the hubby. I just day dream at night because its not like you dream much when you're wide awake and watching the clock tick the middle of night away.

When I do dream, I dream of running, or biking or gasp swimming. But swimming spends more time in the thoughts of consciousness when I'm alone to think without interruption. I actually would love to learn to swim, well I think that at 3am anyway, not so much during regular daylight hours when the pool or open water seem like the farthest things from my time ideally spent. I would much rather go for a run in the hot, muggy, canopy of Lower Park then take a dip in the shallow end of Sycamore pool than to EVER learn how to swim. Yet 3am rolls around and I think, I need to take lessons before working with a Masters swim program. Of course I do... I can't freakin' swim!  Why do we seem so idealistic, laying in bed under our covers, in a dark room, while everyone else is sleeping but your mind refuses to turn off. Its all or nothing for me. Either I'm making grand plans or I'm having a panic attack over things I have no control over... like dreaming of being in the middle of a deep lake and not knowing how to swim.