Swimming Around the Edge of Conciousness

It has been way too long. I haven't written about anything although I have ideas buzzing around my head all night. The computer being in the bedroom next to the bed isn't conducive to me writing while FFP sleeps so I stare at the ceiling and dream of working, working out, working in some time for friends, for an adventure with the boys, for a get away with the hubby. I just day dream at night because its not like you dream much when you're wide awake and watching the clock tick the middle of night away.

When I do dream, I dream of running, or biking or gasp swimming. But swimming spends more time in the thoughts of consciousness when I'm alone to think without interruption. I actually would love to learn to swim, well I think that at 3am anyway, not so much during regular daylight hours when the pool or open water seem like the farthest things from my time ideally spent. I would much rather go for a run in the hot, muggy, canopy of Lower Park then take a dip in the shallow end of Sycamore pool than to EVER learn how to swim. Yet 3am rolls around and I think, I need to take lessons before working with a Masters swim program. Of course I do... I can't freakin' swim!  Why do we seem so idealistic, laying in bed under our covers, in a dark room, while everyone else is sleeping but your mind refuses to turn off. Its all or nothing for me. Either I'm making grand plans or I'm having a panic attack over things I have no control over... like dreaming of being in the middle of a deep lake and not knowing how to swim.

For the Love of New Shoes

OMG! I love me a pair of new sneakers. Speedy Kristina (her hubby is Coach Paul, winner of the Women's Nike Marathon 2008 because is wife thought it would be funny and signed him up) bought a pair of these super cute Saucony Kilkenny XC racing flats and I could not stand it so I went and bought some last night while I was at speed group. The main premise for this purchase is my Kettlebell instructor has an issue with the padding in my regular running shoes and enlightens me, with much urgency, to running flat and more gracefully during my sprints. Mostly though, they will look so stinkin' cute with Jeans! Goodness, its amazing how a pair of super cute shoes can make your week! Actually I am looking forward to a new pair of super cute running shoes too. Mine are worn to the max.

Bucket List: Caitlin over at Healthy Tipping Point posted her fitness Bucket list and I thought I would follow. I do not have a cute cork board in which to post mine (on my to-do list) but I will list them here for you all. Please post yours and link back so I can see them!!!

1: Break a 4 hour marathon

2: Strong core, actually see some muscle in my mid section then hold onto it!!!

3: Learn to swim properly (with my face in the water and everything).

4: Run Mad Patty's crazy Monkey Hill without stopping (if you're looking for hills in Chico I know where to find them)

5: Run a 5K with my son.

6: Learn to ride a bike without falling off and being able to shift properly (ugh... never mastered that).

7: Master Bikram Yoga after Kettlebell/X-fit class is over in November.

8: Do a sprint tri (meaning learning how to swim with my face in the water and ride a bike without crashing!)

9: Getting over my fear of water and mastering Kayaking.

10: Goofy Challenge 1/2 marathon one day, full marathon the next day in Disneyworld!.

11: Run a marathon for charity.

12: Backpack the entire John Muir Trail.

There's no place like home

Today is a day when I wish I had stolen my moms treadmill and set up shop in the living room. The run outside was horrendous. I just could not get and stay focused. I yearned for those easy miles to find me but they never did. OK so I stuck it out and came in at just under 3o minutes even though I was supposed to go out for 30-40 minutes today. Today it wasn't just in my head but my whole body was having a revolution against this new life change of mine. That's fine, I came in my the skin of my teeth but tomorrow I'm going to kick its butt in Kettle bells and take the doggie for a walk. I'm going to make it wish I was running so Tuesday night will kick ass and Wednesday and Thursday's 5 mile runs will be a dream. Friday will be my core/xt day maybe another kettle bell class and Saturday is another LONG run. I'm putting it out there... This will be a great training week.

=)

I am a total wimp

I am so proud (and jealous) of my kids. I signed them up for SummerJets a swimming team for summer to not only get them to have some cool exercise this summer but also to ensure they are better swimmers than me. I can't swim. I am SCARED TO DEATH of swimming. I don't think that even if I tried I could do it. I know you guys are all saying in your heads "sure you could" and "your under estimating yourself". I know its a cop out. I know, but inside this fear is still bigger than me. I kinda have to talk myself into it. When I'm ready to swim I want it to be a lifetime thing. Right now I am focused on running. Making that a habit and priority. Maybe next year my goal will be to swim. If I can work in cycling maybe by 35 I can do a tri. That would be cool. Here are my reasons why I DO NOT SWIM:

1) I don't like to be the center of attention. Me looking like a rotary fan in the water with my arms and legs going different directions and me forgetting to breath so my swim instructor having to pull me out of the water is not my ideal, or even close to my ideal situation. Still I see it looming in my future.

2) I'm scared I'll drown. I don't want to die like that. I know its a freakin' pool and I can doggie paddle to the side. but when I think about swimming my brain jumps directly to me being fished out of the pool a little too late.

3) Its not just the water, its boats too. I get panic attacks just sitting in them. I know I'm a freak. If my husband won't watch a chick flick with me then I won't get in a boat. I'm truly scared to death it will sink or myself, or worse my kids, will fall over board in the middle of the river or lake.

4) Today, at this second, I'm OK with my kids being better swimmers than me. I am so proud of them for doing so well this year. Hollywood is almost 8 but the Aquajets leader moved him up with the 9and10 year old group even though this is his first year swimming on a team. Blondy is doing great in his group too. They make me so proud!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no workout for me today. I will be walking a ton tomorrow after I drive to the Bay Area then take Bart to SF. We have to check in at our Hotel, Walk to our host hotel to check in for the walk, walk again to where we are having a yummy vegetarian meal then walking back to our hotel to sleep. I'm so excited. Saturday morning we get up at 4:15am to get our day started. 26.2miles not including all the other walking we get to do. I shouldn't be excited about using port-a-potties, taking a shower in a semi truck or sleeping in a little bitty tent by the very cool and windy ocean but I totally am.